Picture taken in 1Utama, the pond area ... saw a girl feeding the fishes and I just cant resist pressing the shutter ...
I am writting this for a friend of mine, actually both of them that I know personally and, hope they already got over it...I hope everyone can finish this entry and please comment and tell me what you think, I won't know when is the next time I will be writting another as long and as serious.
It took so long for 2 to get along, chit chat, try to read each others mind, and try to seek the common things that both have, share some thoughts and some jokes and sad storys, and the 'click' happened. Both decided to take the chance from there, to see if there's a possibility to make some Romance. The sweet smile when they meet, the joy when answering phone calls that he/she said miss you... Nothing will go wrong here, everything is so sweet and so romantic that nothing and no one can come in to mess things out, as the fire of romance will burn everything into ashes. Money is not an issue, since the guy will spend every single penny for her ( man's egoism ), and the girls, ofcoz will enjoy spending each moment of love and every single word of sweetness. Time is never enough for being together, hour passes like seconds and days passes like hour, just cant miss any chance of meeting up or calls of saying ' I miss you ' .... Everything is so perfect, everything will be just fine, both thought...
As time goes by, both will however have to face the reality of life. Family, friends, colleagues, time/schedule, things that can never go along well with Relationship, no ? Family might not like him/her whom you bring home for family dinner, friends might not like him/her too or complain that you have less to accompany them after dating, colleagues that's jealous and did some trick at the back trying to break the relationship, so little time to get along and chit chat/communicate, and .... lots more. I bet those I said above are things that every couple will have to go thru, eventually. Hence make me really curios and want to know how, they manage to go thru all that and get in the Churh and Ring-Exchange. King's Wife ah, Cocka ah, Wingz ah, Zara'sMaMa ah, BookWorm ah, can share abit mou ?
Imagine that someone have come into your life, someone that you love and you want to spend the rest of your life with, someone might have alot in comman with you, but, that person might have things that you just can't live with ? Maybe he/she love to go out in weekends but you rather stay at home and rest, or maybe he/she have so much friends to entertain and left little time for you ? Some think:" Maybe I should just left it go, I am not the one for him/her, maybe we will be more happy after we let go...". I think, should sit down and talk about it, let him/her know what's in you mind, how you feel and find a way to solve the problem/worries together, there's no dead end in a relationship, and that's what I believe. Unless you made one.
I think this entry abit messy right? Like too many points or thought in 1 entry and make it looks like Ju Zap Juk.hehehe, soli ler, Sunday mah, have to serve customer then blog then half way serve customer then blog.hehehe, PaiSeh.Please leave you comment and let me know what you guys think. Sometime AhTak.blogspot.com should take things serious too, right ?~ hehehe. Anyway, want to share this too with you all ....
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there's always the chance that neither family will approve, not enough time, etc and ultimately both would have to work it out, kan? relationships are never a bed of roses, and hardly happy ever after endings. it's how you make the best of it, and enjoy and appreciate the one in front of you. and don't take the other for granted.
ngam mou?
and indeed you point out lotsa good point in your writing..anything, both party should talk bout it. guesing games can kill.
no matter how difficult the relationship is to be carried on, i strongly believe it can be conquered by depending on how deep of the love they both putting in.
ngam mou?
But sometimes, there's too much compromise, and one of the parties will eventually feel short changed. In order to prevent that, try to count all the pennies on the table, and below it. Almost an impossible task, of course, but then so is life. You never know what will happen.
..Anyway, I'm single, so perhaps you should disregard whatever I say. I am only good for Lormaikai and that Ipoh white coffee..
ngam mou?
I'm still single, but I just share my experience, if the 3 points I mentioned only happend on 1 side, it won't have a happy ending.
hahaha ~ cant rasuah the judge with Zhi zhap chuk lah ~
I agree with "Relationships are new a bed of roses". I have never seen or heard anything as "Sweet love from day 1 till forever after". Watched Romeo and Juliet ? Even Cinderella ? I don't believe in Smooth Love, but I do believe in Happy Ever After ... Do you ?
CarCar:
Indeed, I too hate mind games. Got to agree with you too. Nothing can go wrong or come in when both know clearly that they love each other, but efforts, sometimes you won't get as much as you give. But is that imporant ? What if one reach the limit and things still didn't work out ? What if, all the time that only one is doing the 'give' and another never bother ? what if ....
LB:
Lormaikai and White kopi, can we Talk with them? Hell NO !!! hahaha
Not sometime, most of the time indeed. That's why people say there's no 1+1=2 in Relationship, and there's no right and wrong, I think it's just How Much both are willing to give, and willing to sacrifice. As you said, compromises, as like promises, don't ever make 1 if you know you cant keep. But can't blame, human love to over estimate what they can do ... But at least we tried, right ?
KennyNg:
Tolerent, trust, understanding... Weren't those the basic and most important Ingredients ? Always said easier than done... no worries ~ There's a Happy Ending readied for everyone, maybe just not time yet ~ hehehhe, we'll see ~
I find it rather ludicrous that when a guy is in love, he can't wait to declare his love to her to the whole wide world to know...
When love has diminushed over the days, weeks, months..., he can't wait to dump her like she's a piece of shit or something. And he still got the guts to say, "I quit this relationship because I love her and I don't want to see her suffer."
That's not called Love. That's called childish and stupidity. As the Chinese saying goes, 3 minute of warmth.
There is no easy road to reach what others have achieved. Love requires a great deal of tolerance, understanding and communication.
In the beginning, it's usually the guy who will put in all the effort to chase the girl The girl might not be interested in him in the beginning. But eventually the girl will be touched by his persistency and sillyness. And as time goes by, i.e, when the honeymoon period is over, then they start to discover each other's flaws.
They argue, they fight, & hoping each other will change for each other. But do you know that the only person in this world whom you can change is you yourself only?
All hell will break loose when one side has decided to keep quiet/mum to reduce the 'fighting' episodes.
What they didn't know is that when the communication has broken down, the relationship will suffer too. Because we don't know what each other is thinking anymore or what each other really wants... We can only assume and guess.
In my opinion, if both really love and care for each other, they should not have given up on each other so easily. They should put in some effort and try to work it out first. Talking and listening is the first step to success. Please try to understand each other and give each other a chance again.
It takes you one second to fall in love with someone but it also takes you one lifetime to forget about someone.
Don't love if you don't know how to love because it hurts beyond words.
Having said that, I am happily married to a wonderful man for 10 years now, we still ignite passion and love one another more with each passing day! Initially, we had our ups and downs but through it all, we worked at our togetherness, shared our deepest thoughts and are completely honest and steadfast in our relationship. We have a gorgeous child whom we adore and we love being a family. Every day, I thank God that life is good because if one finds peace and happiness from within, we will find the joy of living. If and when the right one enters our life; we will definitely succeed in working at the relationship and loving the other person completely. Love should not be painful or one-sided or let us experience nagging doubts and fears as long the partners are matured, truthful, compassionate and understanding, don't you agree?
You are a great guy (as I gather from your writing and pictures), Ah Tak, you will have a wonderful life partner but do not settle for less, take your time, smell the roses and enjoy your life!
I come from caveman era..so we just clobber the woman on the head and drag her to my cave.
Then we just yamade-yamade and start family liao. LOL
Lemme bring you back to your entry's title.
Don't worry, be happy! :)
i think communication & know when to keep quiet is very important in maintaining a marriage.
and treat the other half like Yang Berhormat...
For me, the important things for a relationship to work are, in addition to all the wise words above, respect and acceptance. Marriages have been known to fail because of the wife's lack of respect for her husband and vice-versa.
Deciding to get married is just the beginning. Keeping it going is takes a lot of hard work too. There will bound to be fights and arguments. Quarrels so bitter and intense that you say whatever it takes to inflict as much pain as possible. Times when you feel you are being taken for granted and not appreciated. Moments when you wish you don't have to answer to anyone.
But you never give up because you are sure of your partner's commitment to you. Because you know your partner will not walk out on you and the relationship at the slightest problem. Because you love, trust, respect, accept and understand each other.
Sorry for being so cheong hei. You did ask what we think mah! :)
From a girl's point of view ... I think in most case you are absolutely right about that, I seen alot too, bad/wrong intentions, perhaps too much. But not all guys are like that... Me and a few of my really close friends treat GirlFriends like Princess ~ Anything just say, if I can do it I will. " Your Wish Is my Command" ~ hehehe.
Christina:
Are you the same Christina who bought an iBook from me 2 years ah ? And you still reading my blog !?!??!?! Wow !!!! Thanks for the support !!!!!!
Ofcoz I agree with you ... Nothing better than a simple happy life with whom you love... That's what I am looking/fighting for ler ... Problem will not be problem when you see him/her smiling at you and you know what he/she is there to support and care, worries will not be worries when he/she holds your hand and warm your palm ....
Cocka:
Wei Dai lo... Dun play me lah, where can i find cave in PJ ler ~ Public Toilet jadi kah ? hahahahah
TheBookWorm:
Yes !!! But me ah... I know how to give only wow ~ I know only do the best I can, try to make her everyday happy... And infact, I am enjoying myself doing the "Give". Ofcoz I will be very the happy when I do the "take" sometime ~ As you said, it's the balance, talk about it and find where is the balance in between, and I am still learing ...
Lil'Joy:
Dont' Worry, Be Happy ~ Ofcoz ler ~ "Just Enjoy the Ride ~" I do remember that ~ hehehehe
SeeFei:
Wah .. since when you read my blog one ??? hehehe, welcome welcome ~ make youself at home ~
Communication and know when to keep quiet... Very true lo... when quarrel is not about about who win, is about saying out what's in the mind and adjust from there, tolerate... "The Art of Keep Quiet" ~ hehehehe, Good 1 SeeFei !
+wennie:
mou diu ~~~ mm diu nei, dim dou yiu siu siu ge lah ~ Wah sai dai gah dou gam bei min seh di yeh lei share... Chui fei ...... guo lei cheng yam cha jao mm sai nei seh lah ~ hehehehehehe
King'sWife:
Communication + tolerate + patient =Compromise ?
Kat:
10 years sounds very long ler .... But I guess it's not that long when we found our Love of The Life Time and have chance to live together and share everything. Now 10 years sounds very short ~ hehehehe. Respect and Acceptance. hhhmm ..... you bring new words for me to think about, and write and entry already ~ heheheh.
eve:
Hugs ... Where got cheong Hei ler ~ just write what you feel and what's your thought mah ~ I guess everyone here love to hear about other's thoughts too ~
dan hai oh... ngor gai kopi joh woh... dim shuen hou?... -_-"
I totally agree with you on "yuan fen fei chang nan de, yau zhen xi". I give me 100% when I'm in Love. I know what God must have some reason to give me chance to get along with the girl I love. Chances don't come often... Appreciate her as what she is, appreciate what she has done, and appreciate, the chance that God has give for both to be in Love. Then Happy Ever After of break-Up, that will have to depends of how the couples will work it out...
Christina:
OOhh.... soli soli, wrong person ~ hehehehe. But anyway ~ Hope you enjoy the stay here as much as I do while sharing out my pictures and my thoughts ~ hehehe
Actually I do not have much thoughts on this as I believe every couple has their own style to get along, they have their own ways to work out in their relationship. What I can say is, continue to give if you are happy giving out. And if you're not happy with what you're doing, just leave. The longer you suffer, the bigger impact and the worse ending it will turn out to be. Cheers!!