:::

Been so down and unhappy lately ... It really hard for me to squeeze out jokes for you guys out there. Furthermore I am abit of 'cold' already in Pictures taking.

It makes me feel so bad and so down when people are not interested or evene worse, not even want to look or listen to what you are up to. Sad.....

............................................................................................................

Made a call just now....

Me : Ui ... where you ?
Him: Home lah, playing game. What you want?
Me : Want to come out tonight ? Go for some beers.
Him: Where lah ?
Me : Dunno yet, want to see if you want to join first.
Him: No lah... No money.
Me : Diu, haven't got your pay yey meh ? come out lah.
Hi : Diu, Yesterday spend so much. Me not like you lah.I got car and house to load lah.

Till then I just dunno why I "fire Up"..... I think I never say no to anyone who asked me out. NEVER. No matter I have money or not, I just say yes. Or maybe I am just too lonely to stay at home or maybe it's the fear of staying alone at home.

I really "fire Up" at the last sentence.

"Diu, yesterday spend so much.Me not like you lah.I got car and house to load lah."

It sounds like he think that i don't need to work and will got money automatically pops-up in my bank account. Or maybe me dad prints money.


Listen up. I just lost my PowerBook,which is the second one within 1 year. I am now so worry where to find money to get a new one. How i wished I don't need to get a PowerBook, if it's not I have work to do one it, if I am not into photography, If I don't need to move around, If i dont need to watch videos, if i don't need to stay connected with friends overseas, if i dont need to write blogs, if i dont need to surf the net. I didn't get the PowerBook for free. I still owe my dad money. Which means I need to pay back my dad, then savings, then only i can get a new one. You have any idea how much I got to save? RM3000 to pay back my dad, then RM 5000++ for a new one, then RM5000++ to go Japan with Lei.

Fuck lah, you all have TV, playstation, computer, Hi-Fi with ultra-super-many channel speakers, got people to talk to you at home. I got nothing man !

Don't blame me if you've got not enough money in your bank, my freinds, it's not my fault, and it's certainly not my fucking problem. You think I dun wished to get a house and a car? Me is just being kind trying to gather more friends around to have fun, don't speak out these fucking words to me if you are not in a good mood ! Me also got mood !

Who the hell am i supose to blame when i lost my PowerBook ? Blame my boss for not to hire more people to work ? Blame my stupid college for not taking care of my PowerBook while I am busy ? Blame the fucker who stold my PowerBook ? Blame those people for not coming to working while they knew it would be not eough people to work that day ? Blame my dad for not being rich ? Blame my mom for not sponsoring me for a new PowerBook ? Blame the CCTV which is not working ? Blame the Security who is not doing thier job ? Blame ..... Blame Lanjao ah !? You think you can get what you want after you blame everyone on the earth ?! NO I tell you ! You gets nothing !

You have no money ?!
You have no gf ?
you have no friends?
You have no car?
You have no house?
You have nothing just like me ??

That's your own fucking problem !